Jesus Christ. Americans are fucking cowards! And the terrorists are winning: Look how easily our fear of them disrupts our lives.
Statistically, one's chance of going down in a bombed jet are minimal at best. So why is everyone getting his panties in a bunch?! I mean, let's get fucking real!
And if you believe in God, the Afterlife, and all that other juvenile bullshit, why are you so afraid to die? Because if there is a God and a Heaven, and you get bombed while you're on a plane, you're just going to a better place, your eternal reward and all that other silly shit, now ain't I right? (Yeah, right. And that brings it all home, doesn't it? Because nobody really has all that much FAITH in either a God or an Afterlife. God and Heaven are simply for talking -- but not for really and sincerely believing in.)
But let's say your plane does get bombed while you're on board, okay. So, okay. So, if your plane is bombed, then it is going to go down like a lasered elephant. And if indeed your plane does plummet to earth, going down aboard your jet will be like . . . well, like being on one helluva fantastic roller coaster ride with people all around you who are screaming and shitting and shouting -- meaning it'll be pretty like being at a Democratic National Convention, but without all the pot, and all the silly speeches about saving the environment, social responsibility, cutting taxes, racial and sexual equality, and all that other dreary and impossible to believe in nonsense which is best suited for telling young children before you put them down for a nap. That's right.
And you can be sure, if indeed you do die in a bombed jet plane, that God, once you get up there in Heaven or Nirvana or wherever the fuck else your imagine yourself going after you depart from this life, will turn that horrifying experience into the most magnificent moment in your otherwise boring and insignificant fucking life. Sure. Because God can do marvelous things like that -- or so Pentecostal preachers would have us all fucking believe. (Of course, this same preacher tried to convince me that God would cut my nuts off if I got my sister pregnant -- and I did, and HE didn't. So there!)
On the other hand, if your plane gets bombed, and then the plane doesn't immediately blow the fuck apart, and thus you don't instantly die from the shock wave, then, and once you're actually blown free from the aircraft, you're gonna be in for one helluvan experience. Imagine falling 30,000 feet without the impediment of a fricking parachute, right? Talk about thrilling. Talk about Extreme Sports!
And just imagine what it will be like, after free falling for 30,000 feet, to suddenly impact with the solid ground. Talk about a jolt to the spine, right? Splat!
Hey, imagine falling into the middle of the fucking ocean -- a splendid and like totally radical fall like that, and then you still get the full pleasure of the drowning experience. Talk about your reality tv! Fuck yeah! I'm loving it all already.
And I know all you proud but stupidly patriotic Americans are just all too glad to give your lives for your fucking country. I mean, you're sure as fuck glad to send others off to die -- so why not die yourselves? I mean, given the fact that we have a shit load more people than we have jobs, we can afford to cut down drastically on our population, particularly if we cut down on the . . . less than the most useful people.
I think we should rid our beautiful nation of the . . . well, of the less than beautiful Americans -- and there are plenty of these out there. The fat ones. The just plain ugly ones. The crippled ones. The bald, the old, the retarded, and the generally just stupid or crazy. These, the so-called Ugly Americans should be sacrificed for the good of all the rest of us, don't you rather think, America? If you haven't thought about it yet, then think about it now.
And think about this, too: If you're afraid to die, you grant your enemies great power over you. And we don't want to do that.
America, let's be proud and brave. Let's do to Iraq what we do to our girlfriends. Cause, America, you need pussy -- and you need oil. Okay. Talk to you later. Bye!
|
